first & finally.

last night i started thinking back through all that i have been in my life.
(feel free to skip my list; it's for my own personal reflection)

the forward progression from my original thought looks something like this:
(cheerleader. flyer. actress. classmate. best friend. step-daughter. co-captain. base. teammate. high school student. teacher's assistant. club member. receptionist. high school graduate. fan. servant. interpretor. team member. college student. ambassador. roommate. line server. girlfriend. english teacher. resident assistant. co-RA. staff-mate. daughter of the most high king. heir. leader-in-training. messenger. disciple. loved. temporary roommate. MDA representative. friend. craft instructor. sister in Christ. world traveler. language-lover. Bible study [co-]leader. upperclassman. camp counselor. photographer. sister. daughter. loved. Bible study leader. roommate. representative. peer mentor. desk worker. helper. house cleaner. college graduate. ambassador. preschool teacher. daughter. friend. bridesmaid. sister. Bible studier. friend. loved. His...)

who was i before? [thinking in reverse...]
(student. survivor. teacher's assistant. artist. praise team member. yearbook designer. golfer. math competitor. gifted. teammate. asthmatic. middle school student. elementary school graduate. girl scout. artist. actress. child. sister. daughter. forgiven. sinner... GIFT.)

so much of the human definition of self is contrived from what we do.
most of the things i listed were occupations - temporary expulsions of effort - but when it comes down to it, the truth is that i am simply a gift. before i ever breathed, i was a gift. when i leave, i hope that people will not say that i was a gift they wished to return :) however, more important than what i am is the fact that i am because of Jesus. the fact that i am at all speaks loudest of the fact that God gives. if only i would simplify my perspective to that thought: that i am because He gave...

He gave because HE IS & because of who He is.

when all else complicates the picture of who i am - when i get caught up in all that i want to do (which happens pretty frequently) or all that i want to be - i hope i can simplify things to the thought that i am HIS, not mine, not that... doing that will not make me. He did.

may my life be a testimony to Him.
He is & always has been the most important thing about me.