i am still proud to call myself a Coloradoan, but despite all my stubborn resistance to buying into the Minnesota mindset of 'sticking around,' i have changed. i am not sure if i really expected to find a home here, but i have.
last night as i drove to work in negative temperatures (& without the heat on for fear of running out of gas - whoops!), i started to comprehend the glue here. i've always thought it foolishness that people would grow up here & choose to stay, even after living other - warmer, sunnier, mountainous, etc - places for a stint... but i am starting to understand that there is more.
i wonder whether there is something about this place that makes one feel more deeply.
parts of the state reached forty degrees below zero on Monday this week, with wind-chills in the cities sending it another ten degrees below that! i drive down abandoned streets glazed in ice & snow, but there on that same (now salty-white) sidewalk, i struggled for the motivation to run with temperatures nearing one hundred degrees last summer. we live in extremes here.
we.
in the eyes of strangers at the gas station, there is this understanding:
we are making it through this together.
i've seen joy thick as caramel syrup; they gulp it down by the spoonful, roaring forth laughter like sunbeams in the glory of summers days at the lakes.
i've felt pain sharp as frostbite, loneliness harsh as icy wind in your face - & at times you can only sit with & in the agony of it, because it's too frigid to go outside. so we sift through it all in our individual spaces, stacked high & wide & deep, as neighbors, side by side in our ice cube tray houses.
together.
i can only hope that in these extremes, i am becoming more observantly grateful.
more empathetic.
more of who i was meant to be.
Minnesota sticks to my heart like peanut butter to the roof of my mouth.
driving down the streets, i feel a warmth of belonging that arrived sans spoken word or gesture. here is 'home' for a different reason. i know Colorado is home too, for there we grew up & adventured together... but here, we have endured together.
in moments witnessing the thousand little beauties of sunrise, sunset, frosted branch, greener leaf, clearer pool, richer taste, softer breeze, this place has penned itself onto my heart.
& i think i'll stay a bit longer.
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"'Build homes, and plan to stay. Plant gardens, and eat the food they produce... And work for the peace and prosperity of the city where I sent you into exile. Pray to the Lord for it, for its welfare will determine your welfare... For I know the plans I have for you,' says the Lord. 'They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope. In those days when you pray, I will listen. If you look for me wholeheartedly, you will find me.'" - Jeremiah 29:5, 7, 11-12
Thanks for helping me understand MN a little more, you are right the extremes really do give more oomph to life here, I hope we are more aware and that we do feel more deeply in light of the contrast.
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